BANKER'S TAKE OVER SHEPHERD'S BUSH EMPIRE

ANNOUNCEMENT:

FOLLOWING AN ANNOUNCEMENT BY THE LAW LORDS - sorry I mean... THE BRITISH SUPREME COURT* (only T Blair can have thought that one up) THAT THE BONKERS BANKERS ARE ENTITLED BY LAW OF CONTRACT TO THE BILLIONS THEY HAVE MADE FROM OVERDRAFT FEES AND TO THE BILLIONS CONTRIBUTED BY GOVERNMENT TO PROP THEM UP,

THE BANKERS HAVE BOUGHT THE SHEPHERD'S BUSH EMPIRE.

IN FUTURE IT WILL BE KNOWN AS:

THE BANKERS' EMPIRE

FORTHWITH ALL BLOGS WILL BE RUN BY THE P.R. DEPARTMENT.

comment: * Is that the same as the Chicken Supreme?

Cadres Visit to Cumbrian Lakes

Towards Ambleside, Lake Windermere.

On the weekend of the 13th to the 16th November the cadres of the Empire travelled to Cumbria, as God intended, by Pendelino, to stare at rain and sheep. Cumbria has the wettest rain in the Empire and the best sheep. The rain was freely available, the sheep less so, but some were amenable to being stared at. Grassmere was particularly wet and sheep strewn as can be seen from the following photographs. - click to enlarge each photograph.

Colour competition: Cadres Anoraks (5) vs. Local trees (5).

How are the mighty fallen!

The rain at Grassmere

Rivers and footpaths in spate;

Chat and hot chocolate.

Haiku Is

The Ladies who Stare at Sheep (C in C Cumbria and Dormouse Droad rt.)

This visit turned out to be held in a week when the heaviest rainfall ever recorded in the British Isles fell over the lake district. There were numerous records broken for three day totals from 18 to 20th November (Seathwaite managed 372.4 mm.) numerous bridges were broken, Cockermouth and its people were a noticable flood victim and a policeman died when the bridge he was controlling at night disintegrated underneath him on the river Derwent. Seathwaite had the highest total in 24 hours on record, some 314.4 mm ending at 00:45hrs on 20th November. All this was caused by a front. associated with a low 958 mb to the west, becoming stationary over the area for two and a half days. Thanks to the best Met Office in the Empire for this info. see: http://www.metoffice.gov.uk/corporate/pressoffice/2009/pr20091120.html

Understanding Qualitative Easing

The best brains in the Empire have been puzzling over the problem of the implications of the Bank of England's Qualiltative Easing Strategy. Those in the Empire's Museum have come upon an ancient papyrus originally found in a jar in a cave in  desert mountains somewhere in the middle east. Apparently it has all happened before and is to be found in the Third Book of Kings. The text is as follows:

'In the beginning was the Credit Crisis and all was chaotic, opaque and applications for funds were declared void.

Then the Spirit of King hovered over the chaotic opacity and said:

"Let there be 75 billion of liquid Sterling Assets"

And there were 75 billion of liquid Sterling assets.

& King saw it and even he was Amazed at what he had wrought!

And that was the evening of the First Day.

Then the King rose up and took a hands measure of Sterling Assets

and scattered it upon the face of gilt edged market.

And the gilt edged stock rose up, and the King gave measure for measure

And gathered up the gilt edged that he had bought.

And the gilt edged stock rose up mightily.

And that was the evening of the Second Day.

Then King took up a second and larger measure

Scattered it again  and so on for four days 

until the 75 Billion of Sterling Assets was all scattered and there was nothing left to scatter.

Then were the gilt edged sparse upon the earth

Yet those that were left waxed mightily but yielded little.

Then the Serpent Milliband looked upon the Earth and said:

"This is Too Good to Miss" and he sowed a Leviathan of gilt edged

upon the Earth, but it was of low coupon and extremely long dated (not to say irredeemable)

That no man under normal circumstances would take it up.

But being intoxicated by low interest rates the peoples of the Earth  did take it all up using much of the Sterling Assets scattered upon the Earth.

Then the mighty King said "What is this that thou hast done?"

And the Serpent Milliband answered saying 

" Thou art a Mighty King and who but thou can create 75 billion Sterling assets from nothing?

Create thou then another 75 billion Sterling assets and scatter it too

That the low coupon extremely long dated gilt edged no longer afflict the Earth."

The mighty King was very wrath but spoke with a still small voice saying:

"Thou shalt redeem my 75 billion book of gilt edged in due season and at par.

And although par was more than I have paid, yet as I created 75 billion of sterling Assets ex-nihilo, 

I shall still have done rather well out of it whilst succouring the people,

But thy low coupon extremely long dated gilt edged with which you have beguiled the people,

I shall not redeem it:

On their bellies will the people eat of it all the days of their lives

till it be redeemed on  the Day of Judgment.

For am I not an omniscient King and  do  I not remember  5 per cent War Loan?"

And it was the evening of the Seventh Day,

And the Lord King looked upon the Earth and saw that it was very Good

And he gave a self-satisfied smirk and spoke and said:

"Let the bank base rate be raised by 150 basis points!"

And it was so.'