A Reply to Ms Benighted from the nice Mr Osama.

From: Mr Osama,
The Date Palm,
Dubai.

Dear Angela,

I thank God for you and your Bonkers Bankers. Surely God knows all. You and the Bonkers Bankers have made my efforts at fighting the Crusaders seem a very little thing, for you have surely weakened the very foundations of their castles and yet are unrepentant and do not recognise what you have done. Surely God first misleads those he wishes to destroy!

But because  your service in the destruction of the hypocrites has been so great I offer you my protection through my hand in marriage. When the hypocrites and unbelievers have been destroyed then I shall send for you and you will follow me dressed in a burqa covering of the best quality Harris Tweed, then I shall always know when you are with me - my English wife. This will protect you from your people when you have confounded them.  When you join our nation you will celebrate by taking the name Leila and I shall walk with you in the beauty of the moonlight over the sand dunes there when we have removed the falsehood from the peninsula. There we will enjoy the beauty of the dawn...[ etc etc  3 pages in much the same vein edited out here Ed.]

In the meantime you must advise me on ideas which I have had. How can I set up my Umm al Shaitan Mortgage Backed Securities based upon Palestinian housing in Gaza and East Jerusalem? Also I wish to set up an Iblis Bond to help finance our martyrs, like the precipice bonds which you sell to your old people they will promise much but become valueless at a certain moment. Then I would like you to develop the Zuqqum credit default swap which will confound all those who purchase them thus speeding the day of reckoning which God has promised.

May you yet do more good things,

Mr Osama.